Blue and Yellow and black black black

 

AnElephantCant quite grasp the problem
That is vexing the Westminster louses
Should they tax the rich?
And if so then which
Those who make loads or the ones with big houses?

AnElephant doesn’t live in a £2 million mansion
Please forgive our sad lack of conceit
We are not being funny
But with that sort of money
You could jolly well buy our whole street

We don’t earn £150 thousand per annum
We would be up to our big ears in peanuts
If we did we’d be nice
And give up a slice
At that level we would not even see cuts

In London the story is different
Old Boris calls £250,000 chickenfeed
For a weekly column
We find this appalling
A cash-obsessed addict in need

The Government says they cannot tax the wealthy
On their income because they avoid it
We think they mean evade
We are being betrayed
If they have a conscience it is time they employed it

This Elephant is a quite simple beastie
We do not ever pretend to be clever
But we do get irate
When Cabinet millionaires state
OK chaps we are all in this together

Here is something we did suggest last year*
When Wee Dave thought Big Phil the bee’s knees
So George here’s our thought
Why not tax the whole lot
On the cash their wives ship overseas?

If our leaders won’t take cash from their rich chums
(At least not in the way of taxation)
We will ask a hard question
And make a suggestion
That may cause Dave and Nick some vexation

We detest all these bankers and traders
Their greed could cause the next revolution
We don’t want to nobble ‘em
But they are the problem
We believe they should be the solution

These folk make obscene wealth in this country
Then ship it to where their wives stay
They like a good laugh
They say don’t be daft
Tax is what little people pay

So this Elephant suggests independence
For the City of London’s rich gents
We are not being funny
Let them keep their money
And we charge a gazillion pounds rent

* http://anelephantcant.blogspot.com/2011/03/taxation-vexation.html

Taxation vexation

AnElephantCant fiddle his taxes
He is honest as his trunk is long
He doesn’t earn much
A few peanuts and such
But he knows tax evasion is wrong

He understands we all must contribute
To fund things like the National Health
To cure flu and rabies
Deliver healthy babies
Is worth a fraction of everyone’s wealth

Now most folk pay out of their wages
Small companies must follow the rules
We pay old age pensions
Keep crooks in detention
Put out fires and send children to school

But the problem lies with our most successful
Big companies who make money in stacks
Out of our top seven hundred
One third can’t be scunnered
Our biggest businesses pay no UK tax

The elite fly around in their choppers
They call Monaco or Switzerland home
They don’t care for the old
Or if children are cold
Their cash gets channelled tax-free to their gnomes

One quarter of all wealth on this earth
Is held off-shore in numbered accounts
No interest in famine
The rich keep on scamming
Our money to make their world go round

When our Davie has got a wee problem
The money keeps slipping away
He deals his best card
It isn’t too hard
A retailer knows just how to play

AnElephantCant provide a solution
To the iniquity inflicted by these
But here’s a wee thought
Why not tax the whole lot
On the cash their wives ship overseas?