Budget 2012

We are all in this together
But the rich don’t have enough
The poor are just so greedy
Do they really need so much?

Rich people only work if they know they will get richer
Poor people just won’t work unless they are really poor
So it seems a whole lot fairer to take money off the old folk
Who cares? We know that they’ll be dead long before me and you are

Stop moaning all you folk out there
All this griping is unhealthy
If you want some help from George Osborne
All you need is to be wealthy

Forty plus years of PAYE
NI Vat and Council Tax
Stop your whining
There’s a silver lining
Davie Cameron knows the facts

It costs old folk 300 quid
To save Georgie 40k
You are out of luck
He doesn’t give a hoot
Because you are old and bald or grey

So you thought you’d have some comfort
A warm fire a cup of tea
You daft old cretin
You should not bet on
Any help from a rich Tory

Blue and Yellow and black black black

 

AnElephantCant quite grasp the problem
That is vexing the Westminster louses
Should they tax the rich?
And if so then which
Those who make loads or the ones with big houses?

AnElephant doesn’t live in a £2 million mansion
Please forgive our sad lack of conceit
We are not being funny
But with that sort of money
You could jolly well buy our whole street

We don’t earn £150 thousand per annum
We would be up to our big ears in peanuts
If we did we’d be nice
And give up a slice
At that level we would not even see cuts

In London the story is different
Old Boris calls £250,000 chickenfeed
For a weekly column
We find this appalling
A cash-obsessed addict in need

The Government says they cannot tax the wealthy
On their income because they avoid it
We think they mean evade
We are being betrayed
If they have a conscience it is time they employed it

This Elephant is a quite simple beastie
We do not ever pretend to be clever
But we do get irate
When Cabinet millionaires state
OK chaps we are all in this together

Here is something we did suggest last year*
When Wee Dave thought Big Phil the bee’s knees
So George here’s our thought
Why not tax the whole lot
On the cash their wives ship overseas?

If our leaders won’t take cash from their rich chums
(At least not in the way of taxation)
We will ask a hard question
And make a suggestion
That may cause Dave and Nick some vexation

We detest all these bankers and traders
Their greed could cause the next revolution
We don’t want to nobble ‘em
But they are the problem
We believe they should be the solution

These folk make obscene wealth in this country
Then ship it to where their wives stay
They like a good laugh
They say don’t be daft
Tax is what little people pay

So this Elephant suggests independence
For the City of London’s rich gents
We are not being funny
Let them keep their money
And we charge a gazillion pounds rent

* http://anelephantcant.blogspot.com/2011/03/taxation-vexation.html