Monday 27 February 2012

A duck-billed platitude

AnElephantCant always avoid clichés
The artist has mentioned this a million times
He gets sick as a parrot
All stick and no carrot
But the rhymer sometimes needs one for a rhyme

We know the doodler has oodles of talent
He takes to drawing like a duck takes to water
Your scribe’s in the dog house
As poor as a church mouse
With prospects like a lamb to the slaughter

This pachyderm grows old and confuseder
Is there some animal who never forgets?
Does every dog have his day?
Where there’s a will there’s a way?
Over the hill or just hedging his bets?

Why is the horse such a source of sad clichés?
About water but not about drink
Get on when he’s high
Close the door wave goodbye
And a nod is as good as a wink

Perhaps the writer just isn’t the brightest
He can’t find his way even to Rome
His goose is well cooked
He has leapt but not looked
The lights are on but there’s nobody home

Let’s put an end to this shaggy dog story
Let’s pretend the fat lady has sung
This dodo is dead
Let’s put it to bed
And wish the cat had got more than his tongue

The rhymer knows that his work is quite hackneyed
Does he lack skill or just have a bad attitude?
But time is the thief
He’s sick to his back teeth
So he signs off with a new duck-billed platitude


Wednesday 22 February 2012

Big Blue Mug

A dear friend has brought this to the attention of the Elephant:
There is no apology for the change of style and mood.

AnElephantCant contain his excitement
About the charity that’s called Mary’s Meals
No jokes this time
But a cheery wee rhyme
To tell everyone just how he feels

Mary’s Meals started feeding 200
Now it is 600,000 children each day
There is only one rule
They feed them in school
They never turn one child away

This Elephant does not usually do serious
He is aware that he sounds like a bore
But the laughs are adjourned
Where kids are concerned
He knows that he could and he should do much more

Please buy a mug which will help save these children
It’s quite big and it’s a shiny bright blue
Eliminate want
But he is trying and asks you to do too

Wednesday 8 February 2012

Artist on Vacation

Half AnElephantCant pretend that he’s useful
When the talented one goes on vacation
He sits here forlorn
Amidst winter’s storm
While the doodler doodles in some exotic location

Yep Phil is off taking the sunshine
In some paradise isle in the Med
It has to be nicer
Than the snow and the ice here
This Elephant’s tootsies are cold even in bed

An artist can make an impression
His pictures can depict a story
With minimal appliance
He can abstract compliance
And be decorated in surreal glory

The scribbler sits sharpening his pencil
It is the best it is the worst of times
He knows he’s no Dickens
But still the plot thickens
The rhymer has to keep finding new rhymes

Or he can continue to recycle old ones
He can re-use many happy returns
He sheds a wee tear here
The irony is clear here
It is the doodler whose surname is Burns