Sunday 21 August 2011

Tongue Tied

AnElephantCant praise this too highly
He hopes you don’t find it too boring
He thinks it is cool
That at primary school
They will teach our kids two kinds of foreign

AnElephantCant speak very good German
When he greets you it sounds like a sneeze
When he’s in Deutschland
With phrase book in hand
He says Ich spreche nur Schottisch

AnElephantCant converse in Italian
He just doesn’t find it so easy
He feels quite at home
In Milan or Rome
But says Parlo solo Scozzese

AnElephantCant pronounce Chinese Mandarin
He can’t get his tongue to do tricks
Confucius say Why
Not give it a try?
But he can’t even eat with chopsticks

AnElephantCant be charming in Spanish
There’s no way he is smelling like roses
In Madrid or Tenerife
He just grits his teeth
Saying lo siento hablo solamente escocés

AnElephantCant parle the old Francais
Though he has been there more often than Rothesay
He has mastered one phrase
This Elephant says
Ooh la la Je ne parle qu’Ecossais

AnElephantCant grasp Hindi or Urdu
Is he too old to learn a new tongue?
He may not be bright
But he knows it is right
To teach our children while they are still young

So AnElephantCant claim he’s a linguist
He can’t even claim that he’s clever
But please rest assured
Whene’er he’s abroad
He can trumpet Bonnie Scotland For Ever!

On the news that the Scottish Government has announced ambitious plans to teach all primary pupils at least two modern languages:

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