Coulport - privatisation fiasco

AnElephantCant raise several billion
Of pounds that is oodles and oodles
So with a little support
We will just buy Coulport
With some rhymes and a few of Phil’s doodles

We’ll turn the place into a theme park
Invite kids from Arrochar Tarbet and Luss
It’s quite hard to reach
Loch Long’s stony beach
Perhaps the Council will lay on a bus?

The kids can take turns firing rockets
They can aim them at Russia or Spain
At 3 shots for a bob
That will be just the job
To stop our taxes being poured down the drain

AnElephantCant abide nuclear weapons
We have our own ultimate deterrent
No enemy can survive
Our midges and pies
Or a fortnight where the folk at The Fair went

Now Phil does some stuff that Walt Disney
He can draw missiles and stealth subs and stuff
We don’t want the Yanks
Owning our bonnie banks
So let’s tell them enough is enough

If the Americans take over Coulport
We must ask what else they might do
Will they conquer Rosneath
Garelochhead and beneath
Jings crivvens they’re heading for Rhu

Our plan is to keep the Clyde Scottish
And say no to the big Yankee bucks
No Hershey bars here
No Miller Lite beer
Just Irn Bru and a tea cake from Tunnocks

So let’s enjoy Scotland’s best day out at Coulport
See the foxes the seals and the deer
If enough people come
It will go like a bomb
All good fun - there is nothing to fear ……..