Happy New Year

Seasons Greetings to both our readers (and their mums)

AnElephantCant stay calm when its Xmas
All those presents on a sleigh with reindeer
He keeps asking his mum
Will Santa get down the lum?

Close your eyes, dream sweet dreams, never fear

He loves Xmas trees decorated with tinsel
Mince pies, jelly, and seasonal cheer
Cards, toys from Santa
From AnElephantCant a
Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year

Pandas in Edinburgh Zoo

AnElephantCant pretend he’s enamoured
By the pandas in Edinburgh Zoo
They may look quite cute
In their black and white suits
But they just sit around munching bamboo

They must wish they were back home in China
What with winter and hurricanes and sleet
Can they keep themselves warm
In the eye of our storm
Do they need gloves for their wee hands and feet?

AnElephant believes that they’ve been told to mate here
Not that easy in conditions so Spartan
They will go to great pains
To produce cultural weans
Monochrome with a wee hint of tartan

They are called Tian Tian and Yang Guang
The names translate as Sweetie and Sunshine
If they get it together
In spite of the weather
Then these big bears will really have done fine

They must emulate Angel Shark Annie
Who has just produced nineteen shark babies
Over the forth in Fife
With no sign of strife
So tell Tian Tian no perhapses or maybes

AnElephant just loves being in Scotland
We treat a hurricane just like a breeze here
We are knee deep in snow
But whadya know
We have more pandas than Tory MP’s here!

Ice cream

My grandson brightens up my life
A source of fun and joy
We go dragon-hunting in the park
He is a wild creative boy

We track mammoth footsteps through the mud
He spies their nests high in the trees
He tells me - quick behind this bush
With no thought for creaky knees

But of all the things he teaches me
One thing I did not dream
After all these years I’m tasting
Different flavours of ice cream

I always ate vanilla
That was pretty much a rule
Sometimes I stuck a flake in
I thought that was really cool

But now my little droogie
Makes me think again because
He has chocolate ice cream with a flake
All drenched in raspberry sauce

He eats pooh bear crunch with sprinkles
Chocolate or multi-coloured
He heaps them onto toffee meringue
I feel like quite the dullard

So I’m eating creamy caramel
I’m becoming quite the raver
I try most things he offers me
But I can’t take peanut flavour

A carton a bowl a wafer a cone
No probs I always dug it
An oyster or a snowball
Or my favourite double nougat

But my ice cream was always white
Never green or brown or yellow
Not blue or pink
I used to think
I ain’t that kind of fellow

But now I’m more adventurous
He has taught me quite a lot
Flavours new
And bizarre hues
He just laughs and says so what!

The Queen’s Café in Vicky Road
Is our emporium of choice
They treat us well
The ice cream is swell
We are happy smiling boys