Nut Case

On the recent news that 2 adults sued their mother for being a bad parent



http://abcnews.go.com/US/adult-children-sue-mom-bad-parent/story?id=14407409

AnElephantCant really stop scratching

His head at our American chums

These kids sue their mum

You just know this is dumb

And it is certain that they are onto plums*

They take her to court for big payback

They say she has been bad to them

She didn’t send cash

She wasn’t that rash

We think that this lady should sue them

She told them to put on their seat belts

Do you think that infringes their rights?

No cash in a card

Oh gosh that is hard

We wonder how she sleeps at night

Now you may well feel sorry for children

Whose mummy does not give them plenty

Of loving and care

But this whinging pair

Are both of them aged over twenty

We have some advice for these people

Raised in a $1.5 million home

If you think life is tough

Then you don’t know snuff

So grow up and make a life of your own

In this country we call it brung-uppedness*

We don’t know if that’s a real word or not

But one way or another

You look after of your mother

If you’re American a Martian or a Scot

Note:

* to be onto plums – to have no chance of success

*brung-uppedness – upbringing, how you were raised

A Letter from Old Edinburgh

AnElephantCant help ourself fretting
About the problems that Edinburgh faces
They’re in all sorts of jams
With their plans for their trams
But they aren’t getting to any good places

Now it seems that the reason for all this
Is the lack of accountability
City councillors agree
It’s no’ you and me
Do we just put it down to senility?

So does Edinburgh need a new heid yin?
A serious and responsible player
Not some comedian
Like Boris or Ken
But an elected and respected Mayor

Now AnElephantCant suggest who this could be
We don’t really know anyone famous
Let each voter say
I’m on my way
We could do worse than elect The Proclaimers

We know there are details to work on
At this point things are still a bit vague
But if we sack the council
To cut back the town’s bill
We can just afford Charlie and Craig

One thing is so certain with this plan
Although the rhymes will probably get badder
When they are away
In touch they will stay
Whether they are in Miami or Canada

Now their campaign will surely be great fun
They’ll bring laughter and a bundle of smiles
And they’ll be consistent
No matter how distant
These boys will walk 500 miles

Now we know you’re all bored by this subject
We guess that you’re sick to the teeth
But with these guys on board
We can all rest assured
Those trams will bring Sunshine to Leith

If no trams then an anthem for Embru
The good burghers can sing round the clock
A lively wee ditty
To cheer up the city
With the chorus of course I could walk

All together now:
Ta ra da ta ta ra da ta
Ta ra da ta ta ra da ta
Ta ra la da la la da la la da la la da la la